If someone were to refer you to a doctor they didn’t really believe in, would you trust their recommendation? Of course not! So why, oh why would you believe anyone would trust you, if you don’t trust yourself first? Let’s start the New Year by improving our self-trust.
I’ve seen it in my friends… well OK, I’ve seen it in myself, too. You take care of everyone else and then feel guilty if you spend time on yourself. I’m not talking about becoming a narcissist. I’m talking about saying “Yes” to yourself, and allowing yourself to say “No” to others when you get that feeling of overwhelm which often happens when we are trying to do too much.
I’m reading Jack Canfield’s Success Principles and he has a great way of wording a “No” so people hear what you say and don’t take it personally. Here is what Jack says: “You know, my saying no to you is not against you or what you are trying to accomplish. It’s a very worthy cause, but recently I realized I’ve been over-committing myself outside my home. So even though I support what you’re doing, the fact is I’ve made a commitment to spend more time with my family. It’s not against you; it’s for us.” I’ve coached others to build up to a “No” when they find it difficult. For some, saying “Let me get back to you” gives them an opportunity to think about whether they really want to do what they are being asked to do.
What is the kindest thing you’ve done for another person? Now, how about doing that same kindness to yourself? Caring for yourself as much as you care for others will give you a healthier and happier you to share.
When my nephew Matt was a little boy, he told my brother that he would have to give up school because it was interfering with his hockey. You see, Matt had made a commitment to hockey and he was willing to give up everything else that got in the way. I’m happy to say that, although Matt wasn’t allowed to give up school, he kept his commitment to hockey and now coaches his children’s little league games. What he gives to others is also a gift he gives to himself. He shares what he loves with those he loves and everyone wins.
What is your commitment level to your own dreams? Are you willing to keep at them even when things are tough and, like Matt, you have to fit it in with your regular life?
Kaizen is the practice of continuous improvement. Although it is often referred to as an organizational practice, it is equally effective for individuals. What do you want to achieve? What would your life be like if you completely trusted yourself? What small continuous improvements are you willing to do to make that a reality?
If you want others to trust you, trust yourself first.
More trust means more success at work and in our personal relationships. I can help build the trust in your organization. If it’s your time to tackle this difficult issue, I’m here to help. Get in touch.