If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I don’t have truth-telling as part of my trust model. Sometimes it’s just weird what people choose to lie about.
We lie. Really. People lie all the time, and we still trust them. Here are some of the lies we tell.
1. I’m so sorry I was late, I got caught in traffic.
Well, this one is so easy to punch a hole in. Now you can go on Google maps or one of many apps that tell you exactly how long it will take to get to your destination. If you’re late, it’s because you messed up. Instead say, “I’m sorry I’m late. Thank you for your patience.”
2. I’m fine.
Anyone who says this is not fine. They may be sad, disappointed, devastated or angry. When my husband Ric hears “I’m fine,” he usually runs me a bath and pours me a glass of wine.
3. It’s not you, it’s me.
No… it’s you.
4. Of course, I remember you!
My husband and I had an agreement. If we are at an event and one or the other of us don’t introduce a person who comes up and talks to us, it’s because we can’t remember their name. The other extends their hand and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear your name. I’m ___. And you are?” Now that I’m older, I just say, “I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name.” Age has its perks.
5. Right. That makes sense.
You’ve just told me you’re going to leave your family, sell your home, and go live on an ashram in Tibet. I have no idea what to say. This is my go-to phrase when I want to tell you what you are doing is bat crap crazy. Maybe ask a few questions instead of saying this.
6. I’d love to but I have an event I can’t get out of.
Seriously, I’d rather get a root canal than go to your event. If I’m not telling you what the other event is then it’s because I don’t want to attend yours. This is simpler: “Thank you for asking me but I’m not able to at this time.”
7. Just kidding!
You’ve said something you shouldn’t have said, and you regret it. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” you try to deflect by saying, “Just kidding.” Don’t hide behind trying to convince the person you insulted that they just don’t get your sense of humor. You’ve just dug a deeper hole.
8. I’m humbled.
I’ve never known a humble and authentic person to use this phrase. Have you ever heard of a humble brag? Go on. Look it up… and for goodness’ sake, quit saying this.
9. It’s no problem.
Well, it is a problem, but maybe I don’t mind doing it for you. I’m just being really, really nice.
10. I never lie.
If you have never said any of the statements above, and you are under the age of two, then maybe it’s true.